Wednesday, 4 March 2015

The Antagonist Soul


I sometimes fall in the trap of feeling that we are already permanently made and forever defined. Thinking there are things in us that could never change, that our ideals or our fatal fate are engraved in our future road.  I know undoubtedly that we all still walk roads of per-established patterns built by our insecurities and what our world has forced us to believe we deserve or not deserve.

How many dysfunctional motives live in us disguised as ideal dreams that constantly lead us to disappointment?

What are we not seeing? What are we afraid to confront? What truths hunts us, limiting our ability to believe in the true beauty and emotional potential in us? 

We have allowed ourselves to not feel by numbing the pain of truth. We inflate our egos as a mean to self growth, thinking growing up was something of our youth and past. An obsolete concept in the closeness or past the summit of our mid lives.

We rip the calendar pages of our days living fast, and so very often shallowly in search for meanings that can justify the minutes of our lives that escape our being. I have lived fast, pushing the time to give immediate meaning, forcing things down to the ground that had lost their gravity;  forcing my life to remain rooted to infertile grounds of expired, yet well known patterns I have learned to live with.

I have allowed myself to live with meaningless efforts in search of happiness, until life forced me to slow down and live amazing experiences that had visible expiration dates and that ultimately gave me two hard choices: to be a victim and become cynical about them or to allow happiness and sorrow to make a visible positive change in me, the last one being the hardest one to master but ultimately my preferred choice in life. 

It has been there where I have given up my old ways and taken the time to learn to master the arts of my own present living. I have taken time to understand myself and the turmoil of feelings that hunt my days, even if I hide from them they always find me, they want a space in my life and so they get it but they no longer are allowed to live for free. Like a tenant they must pay rent so I can profit from them. 

And my profits have been many. I continue to take the time now to know me, change, and re define what wrongly defines me. I now absorb the words pronounced to me by those who appreciate me and change the things that constructively had been said to me; and so I have learned to tight my shoes better to trip less with my own shoe laces. 

I  have taken time to hug with meaning, to love slow, see kindly at the world in front of me, I have learned to lose with integrity,  I have learned to grief slowly without blaming and ultimately forgive truly myself and others. 

My antagonist soul could have been my worst enemy, but I have stopped feeding her, her power is limited but her symbiotic presence necessary. And so,  in the search of myself I have finally discovered that more than often those who I met along the way who's antagonist soul has not been restrained, they have deliberately stepped on the beauty of my world -trashing  my honest exposed attempt of a balanced life- they are in fact souls who are losing themselves the battle of life, early signs of aging stubbornly, it all starts with heart dementia. 

Ultimately is better to know ourselves naive, imperfect and in search of meaning but capable of loving fully our imperfect self than to allow oneself our time in this world to be driven by a loveless ego,  never questioning if our believes are exterminating the hope in the minutes of our lives. 

The choice is always there: to learn to love again. 

Stavanger Wednesday, 2nd March 2011

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