A first day

The kids are playing in the cabin's  living room. In the background the TV shows the ski team of Norway, that has won the 3 first positions in this morning competition. The country is exalted I am sure, I feel proud as well for all Norwegian goodness.

I sat down this morning outside with my coffee, my troll morning messy hair, alone and the nature. Alone with the nature. My first day, a new promise to myself, to concentrate on my strengths and start again, there is nothing wrong I say to myself, several beginnings are experience, not failure. 

The last weeks have been difficult, my closest ones have been there for me, faithful friends. Two unknown online acquaintances have privately shown respect and encouragement. This meant a lot, 2 out of many people who cared enough to say something kind to me, genuine and unrequested sympathy.  I like these persons very much, even if I don't know who they are, and even before they were nice to me, after all they have bright minds, and I like that. 

This weekend was a family weekend, my ex husband, my son, a friend of his and I. We tend to do this now and then for our boy.  Last evening we talked and  we laughed about our tragic sit comedy kind of life. He has become a brother in so many ways, and we are so damn honest with each other, he is a loyal person in my life, who shows up in my most crappy situations to help. The same way I do for him. How strange it is, that this loyalty and friendship bloomed after our divorce. I said "we have come along way" he said with a smile, "yes". 

This is a new day, but of my past there is little I regret. About tomorrow, tomorrow started yesterday, starts today, in each action I'll find myself facing my destiny over and over again. I just have to keep going forward. Keep trying. 

From Lindesnes, 15.03.15