Thursday, 31 December 2015

Extracts from my mind: The Time Machine (11) Because there was nothing worse for me than to go in life with a castrated passion, because without love...

Extracts from my mind: The Time Machine (11)
Paula Robles Nettel

The Time Machine

It was late and we went to bed, the room was large painted and dressed in white, with two vertical long windows from ceiling to floor covered in white and light curtains of natural material. The morning light came through the windows around six in the morning, Henning slept on the left side of the bed and I, laying on my  side kept quiet in order to contemplate his peaceful slumber. Letting my eyes travel through his uncovered naked body, lean long muscles, soft and strong Forseti. His manly figure full of resting testosterone and life waiting for the morning to walk the trail of hair traveling from pelvis and heart where he would become alive. Looking at the wonderful center of a man’s body, where he  would stubbornly grow against his will, morning window of some of the greatest pleasures I know.

I quietly got up and looked out the windows to see what was behind them, it was a beautiful cemetery with big and tall trees blooming with spring colors of green. I put on my jogging clothing and my running shoes and went out to the streets of Berlin to find a place to run. I found a small park near the flat and ran a few kilometers before walking back to the apartment, I had my music on and began to wash the dirty dishes from the night before, suddenly I heard Henning calling me from the bedroom, I went there and stood by the entrance door looking at his half sleepy eyes with the cute gesture in his face that  those who wear glasses have when they are not wearing them. 

“Where were you?” “I want to show the morning bread” he said.

“I went out for a run since you were sleeping" "And what is the morning bread?” I asked.

He immediately lifted the white bed-sheet and showed me his huge erection “is what we say in Norway to make reference to the morning glory” and he laughed with his familiar silly laughter. I approached him and kissed him while he playfully pulled me into to the bed, undressing me fast while he once more proved to be the same Henning of the other times, giving, passionate, focused and with the ability to prolong the pleasure for both of us. 

The following days we continued discovering the city of Berlin, mainly walking randomly far away from the tourist crowds, kissing through the city like we were young and newlywed, Looking for the next interesting pub to drink beer, visiting museums, and discovering places to eat. We made love often, and we laughed, we talked, and enjoyed the silence of each other’s company. The minutes were marked with nothing but the most wonderful feelings ever possible to be felt, as the sentence of the end still wasn't possible to be felt in those early days; we felt only love and unbridled desire. Nothing absolutely nothing interfered with our romance until the evening when we went to the opera in Berlin to see Salome. That day we had returned for a long day walking in Berlin, and we both started rushing to get dressed for the night plans, I came out of the bedroom ready to go, wearing a simple yet beautiful black cocktail dress and high-heel shoes, he stood ready and handsome in the living room waiting for me,  he looked at me up and down and then approached me taking my face in his hands he proudly said “you look stunning”. I shyly smiled and gave him a compliment, I couldn’t believe how unaware this man was of his looks.

The taxi left us in front of the Berlin State Opera, marveled of its beauty we went up the stairs holding hands, we both liked the opera, we both loved classical music and the venue was perfect for that romantic night we had planned in Berlin. After the opera we walked for a little while crossing the river Spree looking for the French restaurant Ganymed Brasserie River that we had booked earlier that day. We sat in a cozy corner next to the window and that was the first time that the sentence of our pending farewell felt. We started talking about things we didnt want to talk about, Henning had a hard time going to the couple’s therapy, he didn’t want go, he didn’t want to continue in his relationship but he was certain that he had to stay there for his children and for the time he had already devoted to that relationship. I reassured him telling him that I understood his decisions that were also of love, that I knew well that he still loved his partner, because otherwise doing the effort to go to therapy and fix his life with her wouldn’t have been an option, that in one part of his heart he had to love her.  “I do love her, but I have not been in love with her for many years and now it's you I have fallen in love with, but I can’t lose time with my children”.

The conversation was weighing us down and we kept quiet for a long time before Henning would outer the words that would send us into the beginning of our parting ways. “I want to give you a child, I know how much you long for more children and I want you to not take care of yourself these days”. In the madness of the moment I did not think about how selfish his suggestion was, I was so confused, we did not discuss the topic more, we kept silent until we got to the flat, where he played soft music while he opened a bottle of wine, he then extended his hand silently asking me to dance, we danced slowly in the hall, the gentle touch of his hands travelling the back of my body, my arms resting in the upper part of his arms, while my head rested in his chest until the music and his touch lead us into the lust of the night that needed to be lived. After we finished while resting in the couch Henning suddenly said “The only thing is that I cannot be part of that child’s life, and I can only promise you to help you financially, but I can’t be a father to that child”.  Painful tears started to roll down my face, once again my integrity bruised and I started arguing, because I had never asked him for anything even less a child. He knew well that one week before I had announced to my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce, we had received news from Haugesund that we were eligible for our second In-vitro Insemination to conceive our second child and that I who wanted nothing but a big family had against all my selfish reasons decided to reject the only chance I had to be a mother again, because it was the right thing to do when our marriage was broken.

I couldn’t understand his thinking, his wishes, I have never asked him or tricked him into fatherhood, we both knew about my infertility problems, the chances for me to conceive naturally were very small but if I had gotten pregnant I would have never ever thought of going to his family to embarrass him and destroyed what they already had, destroy his image in front of his children. I questioned myself, what part of me Henning didn’t understand or what part of him I was not capable to understand. After that he started talking about the end of our time in Berlin and the permanent silence on his part that was to follow, that I had to understand that after Berlin there wouldn’t be any more a time machine, his rhetoric felt more directed to himself than to me and those were the first words in form of an emotional barrier that Henning Alexander began to build on the third day of our meeting in Berlin. As my crying grew, his sadness grew as well telling me that for him things were also difficult, that he knew we weren’t going to see each other ever again, that we would never ever hear each other’s voice again but that was the way it was supposed to be. He then started saying "we should speak again in ten years",  then he changed his mind saying in five years because ten were too many, then he said three years and kept quiet looking at me. We were 38 I thought,  I was mute listening  to the craziness of his suggestions, I was drowning in my tears trying to understand the magnitude of time, how could I think in years when surviving one day seemed to be the most devastating of fates.

We went to bed sad and resentful of the situation. The next day ready to go out for a walk, I saw him quiet and sad sitting on a kitchen high chair, I was invaded again of compassion and approaching him I held on to him tightly, whispering to his ear for forgiveness, for thinking that the situation was only difficult for me and not him. We stayed all day inside, mending with physical love the pain of our souls and our bodies.

The days of Spring in Berlin were the happiest and most beautiful days of our story and perhaps the beginning of the saddest ones. We visited a city that gave us the gift of days of sun and the bloom of German spring, a spring that otherwise only comes to Norway a month later. A city that gave us the privacy we needed to stage and pretend what our life could have resembled if we would have been able to be a couple, like those couples that can publicly manifest their desire and love to the world; a city that gave us the opportunity to live in our time machine, the best ever built time machine in Norway. A city that allowed us to tell each other I love you any time of the day, to admire one another aloud and with looks, a city that allowed us to touch each other brazenly in public places. Being lovers without restrictions, taking photos of ourselves when we felt like it and in the simplest of minutes of those walking days in Berlin, the gift of his hand that constantly looked for mine to entwine our lives in the same moment we were living together while we discovered the beauty of a city that allowed us to flourish as the late bloomers we both were. I have lived 43 years now and there is no moment in the history of my life that could compare with the love and romance of those perennial April days that are marked forever in me.

In the penultimate night of Berlin while we walked in a residential area, we stumbled with an  Italian restaurant called Boccondivino, an intimate and inviting place that we decided to try; despite the language barrier our waiter kept talking to us about “amore”, we couldn’t hide how we felt, Henning observed my arm over and over, pleased with the silver bracelet he had bought me from one of the places he had visited.

“I am in love with you” he said looking at me.

“Yo te amo” I replied in Spanish. The first time and the only time in my life I have ever used those words in Spanish to declare my love to someone.

That night we didn’t sleep much, after dinner we went out to bars, drank exotic cocktails, laughed uncontrollably and got drunk, while we walked back to the flat he said something that made me very sad

“All the things that made sense to me during my hypomania have lost meaning, all the signs and things that marked this stage in my life have lost value”.

I walked in silence thinking that I was part of those signs and events that had happened during his hypomania and therefore I would lose meaning for him. We arrived at the apartment, we were so drunk that we slept immediately. The next day Henning surprised me with breakfast in bed, it was the last morning we were going to have to our leisure before getting up to start preparing  for our departure the next day. While I was packing my bags, Henning left the flat telling me that he needed some time alone and that he would return shortly. Upon his return he went looking for me and without saying nothing hugged me with the heaviness we both felt, that of  the death of silence that was only 24 hours away. On that last night I invited Henning Alexander to a restaurant of my choice, I was going to pay for our last meal. While we were in the restaurant Henning asked me for my honest opinion as to what to do with his career.

I remember telling him that he had to stop postponing what he wanted to do just to please others, that he had to take control and direct his life with his own decisions. That loving himself did not meant that he was selfish and that he had to reconsider how much of a slave he was to his high standard of living which he was accustomed to but on the price of sacrificing his dream which meant accepting a state salary rather than a private one, reminding him that when he had earned vast amounts of money he was still not happy compromising the truth of his words for a superior income. I told him that I had no doubt of his talents and that I would follow the developments of his career, that I was sure I was going to see him shine again, that I wanted him to succeed both professionally and privately, I encouraged him to give it all because there was nothing worse for me than to go in life with a castrated passion, because without love, without the certainty that it is there in our heart, body and soul, life would be largely wasted. I concluded.

After dinner we walked slowly to the apartment without speaking, the passing of time made us sentimental. We made love without saying a word, quietly watching each other with the lust that the following day needed to be suppressed; with the tenderness we knew we would never cease to felt, with the intense love so true and so certain felt. We laid in bed embraced, my back against his chest, I wept like a child in his arms, I cried with anger, I cried with sadness, I wept with love and despair. I sobbed while his reddened eyes remained stoic behind that wall that he had already begun building the previous day. The wall that men know very well how to build to block the emotional blow previously anticipated of an inevitable painful breakup to come. He approached my pain but his wall helped him stand strong and in control in front of me. The sensitive man was living forever from my side; the man who loved me was walking away from me with the minutes of the night. The next morning he woke me up with his tender touch, we tried to make love again, but couldn’t,  the visible and invisible tears had already put off the fire of our libidos.

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