Many times I’ve wondered if one day my name was going to take full ownership of my life; I've wondered if my name would become a definition of all that God had intended for me, and suddenly in a moment in time all the gifts, talents and lessons of my life would finally collide in one single moment, making me Paula Forever.
That crucial moment I presume has been happening during my last three years of life. Like the drop of water that carves the stone, so I been made, painfully slowly, yet profoundly acknowledged by the Universe as special and unique; like all children of God; just waiting for the eyes of the soul to develop in the fertile womb of time, to finally acknowledge the idea that there is more to our lives, than what we intend to define based on the worldly dictionary of our realities. And so, I understood, after tears and smiles of painful and happy years; God expected something more of me, of my life and the imposed expectations that up to now had defined me.
I had the hope to reach one day the place of simple happiness that for so long my ideals had been seeking, but the more I lived the more I realized, that my life script although written by the same great hand that creates all life, for some reason, had been decided that my life needed to be written seldom in prose, and more than often in complicated yet beautiful and meaningful verses.
I am far to know what my call is, nor I claim to know the answers to all the questions of my existence; however, I have claimed the right to my humble imperfect humanity and have finally acknowledge the beauty within me and over me; being blessed with wonderful gifts that make me special, yet never fully recognized by the soul, I so much sheltered in my heart as one of the ultimate validations of my human existence . The simple dream of love that for many builds in instants of grace had become the hardest yet rewarding challenge of my life.
How little I was to know, that God had intended a long journey, in which he needed me still to give and share my simple gifts and talents with others, before I could put myself again in the road in search of my companion of life, and even when the road did open itself again to my stubborn and selfish vision, I hadn’t realized that he simply had mended the wounds so I could continue walking in the desert of my life, where I get to be simply and in gratitude Paula forever....
