Majesty and illusion - the leap forward that takes you again a few steps back

Unpredictable, life is unpredictable, twisting radically when we least need it appears to be the grace of opportunity, that makes you face the beauty of a grand possibility to leave you fast and easily empty handed to face once again the skeletons in the closet.

A reminder that your job is not ready, you have not dealt with all that was needed to be dealt from your past. Why you keep failing to understand what you need to change, and who you need to be, to be truly happy and functional.

This is all a reminder that you are not ready for the majestic opportunity you are searching of true LOVE, and therefore you keep embarking in the illusion of a dreamy lucky possibility that just landed in your pathway, you inner core strings of emotion shaken by this illusion leave your reasoning in second place , your solitude betrays you, and you find yourself longing for belonging and someone that can make sense of that void in your heart.

I am not sure yet if this is the normal process of overcoming issues and be ready for the Majesty of all opportunities, the one true love that will hang there next to you, not forced but willingly, because in each other you finally can say you found the reason to stick around and make the possibility a reality. I am trying to tell myself that these fake leaping forward moments, despite of the pain that they are causing me and the confusion that I don’t want are necessary, they must be, because I been so careful not to land myself in relationships that are vain and shallow, still yet I managed to only obtain to go back where life doesn’t make sense and where it hurts to be. Where the heart gets shattered, broken and there is no understanding, the beginning of that unwritten road...

I long for that moment, to look into someone else's eyes and see it in their sight, integrity, honesty, courage to take a chance, a true chance where despite the fear all makes sense, that any leap forward taken will endure any steps back, and the more you advance you get to know that any step back will be less painful, less confusing until all makes sense - you are truly loved and in love.